Sweet Rock Roster
The groups have been announced for Saturday. First tee time is 9.30 sharp, no fluff allowed. Please be there in time.
First out will be John Walshe with a rookie, Dave Smith and Paul Roper. Paul wintered in Florida and is hoping it shows on Saturday!
Second Group is led by Mackie. He is joined by Brian 'hitman' Hickey. Hitman my hole, he didn't hit it out of his way for the footballers in the Cape! #never forgive!! The group is completed with two of PorterBellies finest, Hoppy and Willie 'I suck at pool' Donaghue. Best of luck with your golf game Willie.
The third Group is Feature Group 1 on the live feed!! JJ Doyle will swap sticks and mark Dave Shocks for the day, I'll take Dav, JJ!!!
Group Four is the Suicide Group. I'd rather commit suicide than play with them! Johnny Kelly, McGath, Anthony and Twink. Twink and Anthony are both on suicide watch.
Group Five has another one of the big flops from the footballers in the Cape, Frank Reem makes his first appearance as a member, joining the recently wheelchair removed Seamie O'Neill. Better hope this Kerryman drives better than the other one. Ricky Rush a 75-1 outsider on 'The Gumba' website and his NH buddie Matt.
Group Six has our new secretary leading it. John Hickey will have The Commish to assist him leading Swervy and Donal Mc around.
Group Seven has another of PorterBellies finest in it, Stacks will be escorted by Adrian Walsh, Martin O'Dea and Timmy Lenihan. Sorry Stacks! somebody has to be with Timmy.
Group Eight has two newcomers. Pat Connelly has not yet hit a stroke with the society but Johnny Kelly already made him the favorite. "Can't see him bet!!" according to Johnny who knows a thing or two about playing off an inflated handicap. Tom Walsh is the second rookie and should be grateful Kelly doesn't know him. The Gentleman farmer is the third player in the group. John will be a 'walking only' player for the season. Blocker will lead this group and obviously help the newcomers, look for their balls, read their putts, swing tips, what ye having for lunch type things!
Group Nine, fuck me there are a lot of groups. Shane Brady, Ray Cloverman, Ritchie Vaughan, Gerry McMahon. Gerry after the freak Cape accident,will be wearing his repaired left ear. Ritchie also wintered in Florida with Roper and has returned feeling refreshed and stress free. He is no longer just about the long ball, he tells me, he also does finesse!!!!
Group 10, this I believe will be the first time we ever had a tenth group. Greenhorn, DBZ, and Sid will be joined by newcomer Dave Coughlan. The bar will open for this group at approx 9.04am. Should be some good scores out of this lot!!!! They are expected to finish before dark on Sunday.
Don't forget to activate your GHIN. Your score will not be accepted without a valid GHIN. Closest to the pin...no Ghin.....not worth a fuck. Long drive...no Ghin...not worth a fuck. Ya get the ghist!!!!!!
Sweet Rock 2015
Saturday, April 18 is set for the first tournament of the year. After this long and tough winter, Newport National is going to look very sweet that Saturday morning. We expect a big turnout for this tourney. All the usual suspects are expected. Our chairman has made this one his bitch. Blocker has had some success, McGath always shows well here before his golf goes back to "sucks". Ritchie V likes this one.
Along with the regular competitors, we have a large new rookie class expected. That is as a result of a very loose AGM, which at best "relaxed" its admittance requirements. I mean how the fuck does Joe "the gun" get in. Willie Donaghue for fuck sake! I know we are trying to be a more inclusive society but let's not get carried away. Some semblance of exclusivity should be maintained. We already did our politically correct shit when we let Hickey in, then we made him secretary!!! A host of other Rookies are expected, Pat Connelly, Damien Mulrooney, Hoppy, Stacks, Padraic Reddington (real winner there!).
As always, you need an active GHIN to be eligible so get it renewed.
Hickey will be sending out texts the week before the tourney. He needs to finalize numbers so please reply.
'Dunnie' takes the Cape!
A tremendous back nine by Glenswilly's finest export took this years Cape by the scruff of the neck and secured the coveted Galway Crystal trophy for Johnny 'Bad Knees' Kelly. A shaky 29 point start on Friday had Johnny wondering if this wasn't to be, but a 37 point day in Cranberry left him in the second to last group for Sunday. A great back nine of 20 points left Johnny a one point winner with a total of 104 points.
Johnny had threatened a couple of times over the last couple of years and finally delivered big time. Congrats to Johnny. He told me just yesterday, he has continuing ambition with the Geese. His next goal is to win a tournament playing off a lower handicap!!! (Almost wrote 'proper').
In second place was Harry Walsh who like many others over the years, fell foul of the eighteenth in Olde Barnstable. He couldn't get the point he needed to catch Johnny and settled for second place with a three day total of 103. Harry played consistently with days of 33, 37 and a final 33.
Third place was the always consistent Ricky Rush, playing off 5, with a three day total of 102. Ricky opened with a 35, then followed with 33 and 34. Always right there at the end.
Shane Brady started well with an outstanding 39 points in Bayberry on Friday to take the opening day prize. He took the front nine with 20 points and won the long drive as well. Back nine on Friday was taken by the one and only Ritchie V. He showed its not all about the long ball with him by taking closest to pin as well.
Saturday saw Cranberry Valley in top condition. Sean Davoren showed he has not been slowed by recent surgery to win the front nine with 21 points. Harry Walsh took the back again with 21 points. Tim Lenihan took the long drive. And it was great to see the 'big fade ' take an envelope with a closet to the pin win. It shows how great this spot prize is in that anyone can win it, even him!!!
Sunday, Olde Barnstable was in even better condition than Cranberry. The Commish was unstoppable with 40 points to take the daily prize. He won the front with 2. JK took the back with 20. Gerry Mc took the long drive and the second closest to pin. Johnny Lenihan took closest on number 2. Twink took the last spot prize of the weekend on the 17th.
As usual one of the highlights of the weekend is the trip on Saturday to the 'Duck Inn'.................Stop no!!!! It is the Hurlers versus Footballers.
For the third year in a row, those rotten dirty bastards took the trophy...the hurlers that is. And as if to add insult to injury, we had to endure the duo of Dav and Greenhorn make speeches of acceptance. For the third year in a row, (did I mention that!), Gerry McGath 'gave away' or 'presented' or 'handed over' the trophy to the hurlers. Our 'Captain' is getting better and better at making concession speeches.
As "Phil' would say in the wake of another defeat, thats 'Michelson' not 'Calahan', we need to examine our whole structure and makeup, maybe even go back to the 'pods'. As a first step to seeking to remedy this situation, we should first examine who went wrong. So, only with the spirit of redemption do I list our looooosers!.
First looooser is Ritchie V, 33 points not too bad pipped by Gerry Mac. DBZ, a former Captain, really!!!, you lost to Greenhorn. My God we are only just starting and it gets worse. John Hickey!!! you lost to Twink. 23 points, ya gotta be joking!. McGath lost to Bernard Brady. Okay, he didn't pure suck and we really didn't expect a point here anyway. Ray Heatley came in with 22 points in his titanic battle with the farmer. Anthony Walsh, big fucking Kerry footballer!!!, Swervy put you in your place!
It gets even worse!!!! Roper......Roper!!!!!! Roper!!!! Dav, with one shoulder, bet you like a rag doll. And, probably the worst, Cattle Crush 26 points!. Jeff Houghton whipped you like an Adrian Peterson baby!!!!!!!
And more Kerry footballers showing their true colors. Three out of four looosers. Brian Hickey in his Cape debut laid a big one in his battle with the "Big Fade". How do you lose to him. He hasn't won a coin toss in five years. Don't they have a hurling area in Kerry you could move to?
Last and least was the collapse of Frank Reen, a prospective member for next year, he might hold onto the prospective for a few more years after that debacle!!!!!
Another Kerryman's CaptainsTim Lenihan took his second captains trophy in three years on Saturday with a net 70 off 12. Timmy was on fire throughout the round and followed up his 40 points last weekend here with a gross and net best 82. He added insult to injury by winning the long drive on the last and closest to the pin on 17. He is playing great golf as the Cape is just around the corner but does lose a stroke on his win here. In second place was Sid with a gross 83, net 72. He had three birdies on the front on his way to a 38 for the nine but had to check the undies on the back as a little leakage crept in. He had the added consolation of closest to the pin on the 5th. A great round however as he signaled his readiness for the cape and doesn't get hit with any stroke penalties. In third place was The Commish with a score of 84 off 11 for a net 73, (in case any of you geniuses out there can't add.Ya you Mc Gath!!) Well done James!The other prize awarded on the day was the closest to the pin on the 13, which went to Shay Hughes. He needed every dollar of it, as his wager against the Kerrymen went south!The Cape is the next tournament and begins on Friday, September 26. First course is Cranberry valley. Blocker collecting for the CAPE. $400 is the cost if paid by Captains. It goes to $450 after that. Checks only!!Matchplay Final ---------Johnny Kelly takes the Big One !!!!!JK took the matchplay final in Waverly on Saturday knocking off DBZ on the way to a 4 and 3 victory. Johnnny played excellent all day and even though Peter brought his A game, it wasn't enough the way "Bad Knees" has been playing this year. Shocks and Timmy Lenihan completed the foursome and largely kept out of the way. The Commish presented Johnny with his trophy after the round in front of the good group that attended. Johnny thanked Shocks in his acceptance speech for carrying his bag so well. He also praised Peter and congratulated him on his strong showing all year on the back of his second place in the Cape last year. Three other foursomes attended on the day and fittingly honored the Champion. Johnny assured everyone that couldn't be there he would give them a private shot by shot account of the day on their next meeting. Thank You Johnny!!!On a side note, Congratulations to our esteemed chairman, Anthony, on the arrival of his first born, a son named Sean! Lets see your handicap go down now, Big Guy!!!Another Kerry Win!!!!!Timmy Lenihan made it a three in a row for the Lenihan family and four in a row Kerry win when he took the Masters Tourney on Saturday July 12. Butter Brook was at its best on Saturday with hot humid conditions. Timmy obviously had been minding himself all week as he tore through the front nine with 25 points and ended the day with a 44 point total to demolish a powerful field. Three birdies later he also claimed the over 13 birdie pool. Well done Timmy!!In second place for the second year in a row was The Commish with the same 40 point total as last year. Tough tournament to win!!!!In third place was a late charging Blocker with 38 points, 25 of them on the back nine. Nice finish Joe!Other notable scores was Anthony and Shay with 37 points, Johnny Kelly with a handicap protecting 33, DBZ also with one eye on the matchplay with 26 points."Big Fade", as he probably told you, won a closest to pin and a long drive!!!! Its been awhile but good to see the big guy back in the envelopes. Other closest to pin was won by Anthony edging out Sid.As usual in Butter Brook, everyone had a great day. A special thanks goes out to the bar staff and the cart girl. Rarely are beers so pleasantly presented.
Matchplay FinalMatchplay final will take place at Waverly Oaks in Plymouth on Saturday July 19. Peter DeBiasie defeated Shane Brady 3 and 2 to make it to the final. He will take on Johnny "not as bad as they were knees" Kelly who upended Ritchie Vaughan in the semi again by a 3 and 2 score. Ritchie didn't bring his A game as he had threatened to do and Johnny was not in a giving mood as he advanced. Johnny will be giving Peter 8 shots but has already told everyone who will listen to put their money on him. Peter refuses to comment on anything as he starts his mental preparation with a "me against the world" type attitude. A good crowd is expected so please let The Commish know if you are attending. 'Farmer' Repeat at Sid's Tourney
John Lenihan made little of the one stroke reduction he earned from his Granite win and won his second title in a row with an outstanding 39 points off thirteen. John had 21 points on the front despite a ninth hole meltdown and followed it with 18 on the back with two scratches. In between he hit a ton of great shots and thoroughly deserved his victory. In his speech he thanked the organizers for putting on a great day, his wife for always believing in his talent, farming and carpentry! He especially wanted to thank his caddie for the day Dave Shocks whose advice he said was inspirational.
In second place was Ricky Rush who went out in 18 and home in 20. He is back in top form and looking for more hardware. Third place was taken by Blocker with 37 points.
Front nine was taken by Johnny "top three" Kelly with a fabulous 22 points. Johnny pulled the reins in on the back nine with a matchplay tussle coming up, no way was he being cut a shot. Back nine was won by Ricky with 20 but was given to his brother Cattle Crush by rule. (1,2,3 winners not eligible for front nine/ back nine)Closest to pin was won by Johnny Lenihan, Ritchie Vaughan and Ricky Rush. Long Drive was won by Gerry McGath as most of the big hitters didn't get it on fairway. Actually Gerry must have been the only one on the fairway!!!! Well done to all.
Guest prize was won by Paul Gallagher with 35 pts. Great to see Paul back in US. He was an original member before moving back a few years ago.
Well done to Sid and Anthony who put on a great day. Next up ButterBrook for the Masters.The 'Gentleman Farmer' takes Hughes TourneyWith 39 points Johnny Lenihan, who hails from the posh farming suburbs of Tralee, took the second annual Hughes Cup after a great day at Granite Links on Saturday. Johnny went out with 21 points thru 9 helped by a birdie on the fourth hole. He overcame a speed wobble at the par three sixteenth but recovered to finish with two pars and record the winning total. Johnny gave a memorable speech as he accepted the trophy from Shay Hughes. He becomes the second player and Kerryman to get in the winners circle this year and will compete for the rest of the year off one stroke less than his GHIN. He promises this will not be a problem!!!!!!Second place was Dave Shocks with 36 points and a par on the index 1. Dave is always in contention in these tournaments.Third place was taken by another Kerryman, this one on his virgin voyage, Brian Hickey. Brian who joined recently and is playing off 17, started off nervously and had 15 points through nine holes. He stormed through the Granite nine and was on track for a record nine but for a real self soiling episode on 18. However 20 points gave him a total of 35 and second place. Well done Brian!. Sid and The Axeman finished on 34. A host of players were on 33 which just shows how a stroke here or there can mean some hardware. Long drive on the front nine was won by Shane Brady.On the back Ricky Rush took long drive and Mike Forest took closest to pin on sixteenth.Highest point total for the day was from Matt Lapo from New Hampshire with 40 points off a handicap of eight shot a 76. Great round Matt!!!!Usual suspects,Paul Roper, Mike Forest and Johnny Kelly never contended for the best dressed award as another guest took that coveted prize. Sean Ballance took this biscuit with an eye gouging pin stripe trousers with matching top that was straight out of a seventies porno film. There was no second place to that.Well done to the Big Fade for putting on a great day. As usual drinks were flowing at the after party and all the pain of the day was quickly washed away. Great Day!!!!!!!Matchplay First RoundFirst round of the matchplay is done and dusted after a modest turnout enjoyed
a beautiful day in Atlantic on Saturday. The draw threw up a few good matchups
and first out was Seamie O’Neill and Shocks with Adolf taking that one. This
fourball was followed by Ritchie V taking on Blocker in what was a battle of
the bigger hitters. On this day Ritchie had all the answers and Joe all the
questions as he slumped out of the matchplay with head low. Ritchie was unstoppable
and has guaranteed a hiding for whoever he plays next. Johnny Kelly took on
Roper in another lob sided one. Roper couldn’t find his game all day and Johnny
“do you think I’ll be in top five” Kelly closed it out early. As did the other
winner in the foursome, he warned everyone that he will dole out a lot of
punishment to anyone else he meets. Great to see some gracious winners come out
of one group!!!!Next fourball had The Commish taking on Twink and Dav taking on Swervy.
Twink couldn’t keep up with the young at heart Commish, who moved on to the
second round. Dav was never going to let a six hole lead slip again, like
happened last year, so calved early and lost to the most relaxed and happiest
golfer on the course. The next fourball had Cattle Crush drawn against the super
confident Big Fade. The new found confidence took a big hit as Hughes couldn’t
pull back Cattle Crush who went four up at the turn and finished it out on
seventeen. Gerry Mac took on Shane Brady on the other half of this ticket but
Shane proved too strong for the one armed Dub. Wait till I get him with two
good elbows! Gerry promised.‘Cape King’ Martin O’Dea made his season debut as he clashed with Sid.
Martin couldn’t be stopped despite a couple of speed wobbles. He made a few
clutch shots and putts to frustrate a battling Sidney. In the other half of
this foursome I was robbed of my rightful place in the next round as I played
the best golf of my career but Harry Walsh in his first outing of the year was
just too good with a super 95 to my scintillating 101. What do I have to do to
win a match??? Harry made all the putts he needed and should have won earlier.
It would have eased the pain.The last groups of the day saw Ray Heatley tackle DBZ. DBZ emerged
victorious in a vicious scrap in which Ray on his virgin outing had to tackle
the crafty veteran. Adrian and our esteemed chairman played the match of the
day as Anthony won early. He would have beaten anyone today as he shot a 74.
Adrian had no answer to that.The draw for the next two rounds was made after in the bar. With 11 “golfer”
remaining, there had to be 5 byes and just three matches in the second round.Byes are Cattle Crush, Anthony, Ritchie V, The Commish, Harry Walsh.Second Round MatchesJohnny “Top Five” Kelly v Dave “Adolf”
ShocksDBZ v Martin O’DeaShane Brady v SwervyQuarter Final DrawM O’Dea/ DBZ v Cattle CrushThe Commish v Ritchie VShane B/ Swervy v Anthony WalshShocks/
Harry WalshSweet Rock 2014First outing of the year
is in the rear view mirror. A total of 22 people, of which at best 5 were
golfers, showed up on Saturday at Newport National. Weather held up for the
day, if it did get a little windy and cold by the back nine. First closest to the pin
was the third hole which was playing real tough. It took a skulled five iron
from Blocker that scurried up to about 12 feet to win the first envelope.
You have no shame Blocker! collecting an envelope on that one. Second closest
to the pin was the next hole and to add insult to injury, Blocker again claimed
the money. Long Drive was with the
wind on the sixth and Adrian Walsh took the honors with a tremendous dong!!!!
Final closest to the pin was the thirteenth hole over the water. Jason Boulware
took the honors. Birdie pool was claimed by Roper on indexes over DBZ, Adrian
Walsh, Ritchie Vaughan.And down to the main
business of the day, Shane Brady, as always in contention, took third place
with 34 points. Second place was the loud and late arriving, big hittin, one
legged, Gerry McGath. Gerry had 37 points and accepted the second place trophy
in his usual understated manner!Winner and 2014 Sweet
Rocker was our chairman Anthony Walsh with 38 points (78 gross). Well done
Anthony who becomes the first player affected by the new "winner cut by a
stroke" rule. How appropriate considering it was the brainchild of our
Next outing is the
matchplay, May 3 in Atlantic. Draw as always will be made at the course on the
day.Message from the
reichstag is to get your scores posted. The handicap fuhrer and his minions
will be checking.